Embrace The Journey

God is always here in the service of the now. You cannot find God in the past in your regrets. You cannot find God in the future in your hopes and wishes. You can only find God in the here and now. We are not to police other people, to cause conflict, to separate ourselves from the messy broken life. We are not to put up barriers between people and the love and grace of God found in Jesus Christ

I want to experience all life has to offer live life to the full. I want to share my life with someone special and be in community with others who feel the same desire to love God love people and make disciples. I want to be in the world not of the world. I don’t want to hide in a dusty monastery or under my bed, but face the world knowing that as I do God is with me. I affirm that this life, the life we are living here and now matters. That our life, this life will stretch on beyond the grave that through Jesus we have been gifted with eternal life beginning now and going forward. The Later God will handle. The now is where we need to be. We should live our lives with one foot in this world and the other in the Kingdom. We should live this life with one eye on our needy brothers and sisters and the other eye on Jesus. We should live our lives with one hand firmly embracing the promises of God and the other hand serving our fellow man. Life is not static. I cannot change the past. I must move into the future, the future that God has for me. I do not believe that my best years are behind me, but ahead of me.

This does not mean I must stop my thinking, seeking, and learning; that I must not be creative or curious; that I must conform to some idealized mold even a Christian one. It means I must continue thinking, seeking, and learning for myself and share what I find with others. It means that I will ever so slowly become more of the person God made me to be. God had a plan for my life even before my parents met and considered building a life and family together. Everything that has happened to me, both the good and bad happened, the books I have read, the movies I have seen and the sermons I have heard, so that I might experience the unlimited and unconditional love and grace of God.

I often call myself a purple marble in a bag of black and whites. Growing up and even now, I feel like I don’t belong in my family, school, church, and work. I grew up LDS and I never felt like I belonged. I didn’t fit the mold and never would. Bullied and excluded at school, I had few friends, mostly I felt like I stuck out like a throbbing, sore thumb. My parents loved me and have done so much for me, yet there are certain family members that would rather I not be around. At work, I also felt like I didn’t belong, I was never in the ‘in’ group. At my last job, my manager didn’t like me. He made my job a nightmare.

I am more at peace with who I am more comfortable in my skin. I am learning to be me, the real me as opposed to the me others would like me to be. I am dedicated to becoming the real me. I am OK with the fact that this growth process is a life-long experiment. I will never arrive at a perfect me, if there is such a thing, which I doubt.

I believe we should embrace the journey. Bad things will happen; setbacks and tragedy are part of life. Living the gospel life is not about freeing ourselves of heartbreak and loss, but knowing that in the darkest times God is with us and in our best times, we should reach out a hand to our brothers and sisters.


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